


this shivering heart has not yet withered

by stcrdust



Series: 23 days of wonder [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Cold Weather, Confessions, Fluff, M/M, Scarves, angst if you squint ig
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:49:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28020447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stcrdust/pseuds/stcrdust
Summary: It's cold,Jaemin thinks to himself.But Donghyuck is warm.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Na Jaemin
Series: 23 days of wonder [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2052411
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	this shivering heart has not yet withered

**Author's Note:**

> for @littlewonderfic on twitter's 23 days of wonder challenge! (day 4 - scarf)
> 
> only minor editing, and un-beta'd. enjoy!!

Jaemin shivered, trembling with the cold breeze that swept past his layered figure, rubbing his gloved hands together and breathing hot air into it in an attempt to keep himself warm. The world around him was painted shades of monochrome white and grey, with trees serving as streaks of black, its tendrils stretched across the canvas of the late afternoon sky.

He walked down the path back home with his hands stuffed in his pockets, watching the way his breath looked in the chilly air, eyes noting the frost that lined the windows of the buildings, and the snow that had been shoveled to the sides of the sidewalk.

_It’s cold._

Just hours ago, Jaemin had been sitting next to a warm fireplace, the crackling of the wood and the flames providing him a comfort that he couldn’t quite explain. Perhaps it wasn’t the warm fireplace, but the boy to whom the fireplace belonged to, who was infinitely warmer than even the flickering fire that burned just a few feet away from the two as he held Jaemin in his arms.

_He’s warm._

Jaemin wrapped the scarf tighter around his neck as another breeze whipped past him, bringing with it the biting cold that left his teeth chattering and his shoulders shaking. He tried to think about the gentle warmth that had enveloped him just hours ago, tried to hold onto the embrace that he longed for, even when petals or dead leaves replaced the falling snow, or when the sweltering summer replaced the brisk winter.

He wished, he longed, he yearned for that warmth, for even just a little longer. But he couldn’t let himself be selfish. Donghyuck had always been kind to him even in the darkest of days, in the chilliest and the hottest days, and he had stuck with him through the changing of seasons, linking pinky fingers together at the end of every year with the promise of seeing another spring.

_It’s selfish._

It was selfish of Jaemin to want _more_ than what he currently had. And yet, he still longed to hold Donghyuck in his arms, for him to realize that his subtle signs of affection meant that he wanted something more, more, _more_. From the way his fingers traced over the constellations dotted across Donghyuck’s face to the way he held onto his hand a little tighter each time they went out, this was Jaemin’s way of telling Donghyuck _“Hey, can you hold onto me a little longer?”_

He wondered if Donghyuck had realized what he was trying to convey yet.

He didn’t count on it.

Unwanted tears prickled in his eyes as he continued down the path ahead, shaking with not only the chill of the icy, frigid air, but also the chill up his spine that came from the fear that Donghyuck would never feel the same way. It was more terrifying than anything he had ever been faced with— and the thought of Donghyuck leaving him was a thought he preferred to push to the back of his mind, afraid that the thought would consume him at any given moment if he wasn’t careful.

Rapid footsteps against the city’s paved concrete snapped Jaemin out of his damning thoughts, and he didn’t think to turn around until he heard a voice call out to him from behind.

“Jaemin! Oi, Jaem! Slow down!”

Donghyuck was running as fast as he could in his direction, with not even a winter hat on as his arm, weighed down by a coat, was raised in the air, holding a brightly colored scarf that furled behind him as he ran. His brown hair flew in every direction as he ran against the breeze, his expression contorting and features scrunching as he was hit with a blast of cold air.

“Goddamn, it’s so cold,” Donghyuck said as he caught up with Jaemin, who had simply stopped and watched the other approach him from afar. He wheezed for breath, holding a gloved hand up to his mouth when he accidentally inhaled a mouthful of cold air, his lungs burning as he caught his breath, hands now placed on his knees. 

“Hyuck, why aren’t you inside? It’s too cold for you to just be running out like this!” Jaemin’s caregiver instincts kicked in as he took his scarf off and immediately wrapped it around Donghyuck’s figure, engulfing him in the fabric. Donghyuck breathily laughed, gently pushing his coddling hands away as he smiled up at Jaemin.

“You worry too much, I’m fine. It’s just that I forgot to give you this before you left earlier,” Donghyuck held up the scarf that he had previously been holding up in the air as he had run towards Jaemin. The fabric was soft, and there were slightly misshapen white hearts knitted into the wool. “I, uh… I knitted it just for you.” He pushed the scarf into Jaemin’s hands, pulling back with a sheepish smile as he scratched his head. “Thought you could use one that was more… you.”

Jaemin’s worried expression vanished as he looked down at the heart-patterned scarf, holding the bunched fabric up to his face. It carried the same warmth that Donghyuck always seemed to carry with him, soothing and gentle in nature, like the rays of the sun on a quiet afternoon. He thought back to the lingering longing that tugged at his heartstrings, then looked back up at Donghyuck, the winter breeze suddenly the least of his worries as he laid eyes upon the boy that had given him so much.

“Do you not like it…?” Donghyuck asked when they locked eyes, frowning as his gloved hands nervously grabbing at his coat sleeves. “I know it’s not perfect knitting, but—“

His words were interrupted when Jaemin threw his arms around him, bodies pressed against each other as Donghyuck let out an _umph!_ of surprise, his hands instinctively lifting themselves to reciprocate the hug that Jaemin had wrapped him in, both enjoying the warmth that came from the gentle embrace.

Jaemin buried his face in Donghyuck’s shoulder, staring ahead at the path ahead of him, like he wouldn’t be able to continue walking down that very path if he let go of Donghyuck now. He held on tight, his form trembling with unfallen tears and chills that ran down his back as he watched his frosty breath rise into the cloudy, grey sky.

“Please stay with me. Please,” Jaemin was quiet, but close enough to Donghyuck for the other to be able to hear him. His hands clutched at the cold fabric of the other’s coat as his vision blurred with tears, shutting his eyes as his chest swelled up with a fear that he couldn’t quite identify. “I don’t want to let go.”

_“I love you.”_

Donghyuck was silent for only a few moments, holding onto Jaemin until they shared the same warmth from having embraced each other for so long. He buried his face in the scarf that Jaemin had thrown on him just minutes ago, basking in the warmth that the two shared— that they’ve always shared, since the day they began to make promises to each other. His heart ached with an emotion that could only be adoration as he held onto Jaemin tightly, showing no intentions of pulling away as he held him close.

“I love you too, Jaem. I’m not letting you go. I will never let go of you.”

_Donghyuck stayed._

_And he never let him go._

**Author's Note:**

> consider checking me out if u liked it! :p  
>   
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/strdusting)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/stilldreaming)


End file.
